calling b.s.

here's a category you've seen on this blog before.

you may remember my critiques of lucky magazine, which was a regular feature here on the blog, once upon a time. i think i need to bring that back....

but the other "publication" that is getting to be a regular offender in the competition for most-ridiculous-editorial-piece is refinery 29.

one of today's features is called "the budget guide to making your apartment look expensive", and i couldn't help but share some of the products that tom dunn of overbey & dunn suggests you purchase (presumably from his store), in order to fancy-up your place.....

if my sarcastic tone hasn't already made it clear.... i think these suggestions are completely ridiculous:

really? a d.i.y. tie-die kit is going to make your house look expensive?

smell nice, maybe..... but i'm picturing a pile of laundry in the corner, with the wafting aroma of fancy candle, and i'm not getting a super luxurious vibe.

first, this is ugly. second...... ugh. i sound like a broken record. how does an APRON make your house look good!?

what artwork you put on your walls is fully a personal decision, but why would a person recommend a wall hanging that mimics a cheap child's toy? i think the image is actually very cool, but again....

how does a cardboard jigsaw puzzle make your place feel upscale?

no. animal butt magnets are NOT chic. 

not.

in defense of refinery 29's staff, i will say that delores suarez's suggestions in the second half of the piece are much more reasonable....

but i find it so annoying to be fed this kind of drivel.

girls who read fashion magazines and sites are not stupid! why do editors so often treat us like we are?

ridiculous advice from an l.a. fashion designer

sometimes i'm really inspired by the developing fashion industry in los angeles!

and other times, i just want to cry, because of the mediocrity that passes for good work in this town.

i recently went to a seminar on "how to develop your brand". the moderator promised that the two people on the panel would be giving some solid advice on "all of the tools that you need, in order to grow your fashion business", that "you'll be able to take back to your office or studio, and use day to day".

i thought i'd share with you all some of this really terrific advice.

click here to listen.

theory

these photos have been making the rounds on a lot of the fashion-watching blogs and websites:

 

you've probably seen them. 

they're from the louis vuitton spring 12 show....

i'm pretty sure that i can explain what's going on here...

it's called crocking, and it's pretty common.

you've all seen it when you've put a bag with a red strap onto your white t-shirt clad shoulder, and gone for a walk on a warm summer's day....

i'm guessing that these girls were wearing a different style of shoe at another show earlier the same day, and that the shoe was of a red / purple / dark color. the simple fact is that there was probably a bit of sweat involved (i heard the temperatures during paris fashion week were off-the-charts hot), and the color rubbed off on her foot. once that happens, it can be pretty difficult to get off....

the fact that there are clearly two girls in the same show with similarly stained feet only strengthens my argument. it's very likely that the walked in the same show previously, and had similar colors rub off on their feet. the one on the left even looks like the shape of a boot!

also, since the shoes that the girls wear on the runway are not production quality, a lot of the materials used are not finished to prevent crocking.

don't worry. by the time the offending shoe gets on a selling floor, the materials will be perfected, and they won't make your feet look this way, i promise.

so, there... mystery solved. 

i'm not going to argue that modeling is a dangerous & unhealthy profession. however, spending 5 minutes walking down a runway in sample shoes that are not meant to be worn on the street is not doing these girls any harm.

i'd spend more time making sure they are above the age of 16, and are eating decent meals every day, before we freak out about a couple of ugly photos of feet!!

questioning lucky logic: the shoe issue

over the weekend, i posted a little snippet of my shoe collection.

so, it's officially shoe-week here on the blog. all things footwear related will now commence.

starting with the new feature..... 

questioning lucky logic:

every fall and spring, lucky does a big feature, covering all of the trends and styles of footwear that any self respecting american female must have represented in their closet. 

generally i find it to be a sad state of affairs, since one can only be told so many times that a knee high boot looks "terrif" over skinny jeans, and that "sky high" platforms are de rigueur for any date night that might lead to a relationship with legs.

this fall is nothing new. it's the same-old-same-old, with recommendations on ankle boots, and day-to-night looks. i'd have fallen asleep by now if it weren't for some of the more hilarious and questionable style choices and product descriptions, all shown below for your enjoyment.....

sporty, indeed. i'm totally picturing tim riggins in a pair.

please, dear god. someone send me a photo of these librarian-looking pumps being worn with a *neon mini skirt and a sequined shirt*. please. i can't even imagine how much "fun" that would be!

the copy here is a bit dumb, but i'm mostly offended by the horrible silhouette of these shoes. should they reside in my closet, they would acquire no patina of wear, glossy or otherwise, only that of dust.

funny, they actually look like they'd make you look somewhat tubby, what with the "wearable" heel height, and awkwardly shaped wedge.

i'm also picturing these to look kinda crazy with jeans tucked in, almost like...... moderate department store hip waiders?

no! cheap flannel wedges will not look very chic at all with light pastels. they will make you look like a middle schooler running out to walk the dog in her pajamas!

nothing too terrible here, other than the fact that these shoes look utterly cheap, and exactly like the casual boots that department stores have been showing for..... at least 5 years.

snooze.

i intentionally took out any reference to the brand of these shoes, so that you didn't get the impression that i'm against any of the brands. however, i will say that it's surprising that this little guy is a collab between a company that makes high quality shoes, and an athlete that's mostly know for being kick-ass and hot.

these are just ugly, no? such bad shapes and proportions, in my opinion.

my a.m. commute is already enough of an expedition, thank you very much. is there someone out there who wants to add more trial / potential danger to their morning?

:::eye roll:::

to beguile: transitive verb

1: to lead by deception

2: hoodwink

3: to while away especially by some agreeable occupation

4: to engage the interest of by or as if by guile

which one do you think they meant, regarding those ca-razy buckles? hmm?

it seems somewhat unfair to tease about a ridiculous use of a cliched pun, when i'm so fond of using them, myself, but.....

it's ridiculous.

so friends, there you have it. stay tuned for next month's installment.......

ok, wait! i do gotta say that these are pretty awesome. they are stunning.

no?

ok, how about this?

is this normal????

i only have one other pair of sneakers.

but i have like 55 other pair of shoes in total.

calm me down.

is this normal?

(i don't mean the amount of dust.)

this is the top of the bureau that i share with my husband. i didn't touch it before i shot the photos. the collar stays and cufflinks in the two small boxes at the foreground of the first image belong to him, but (obviously) everything else is mine.

is this insane? or, does this look semi-familiar?

future tense

a few days ago, i was doing some research online. i swear, it was research, not shopping!




and i bumped into some (kind of ugly, kind of awesome) boots, which you can see below.

kat mentioned that they'd look great with a striped dress. which is obviously true.... (even though i am not going to buy them.)

here are a couple of ways that i'd like to wear them:

i guess i'm starting to think about fall clothes already, even though it's swelteringly hot in nyc right now.


anyone else?

questioning lucky logic: the premiere

do you guys read lucky magazine?


may i ask... why? i don't mean to belittle the choice to read it. i read it myself, almost every month! but i just can't figure out why.....


with the exception of jean godfrey-june, who is my hands down favorite beauty writer, i just can't find any really redeeming features in this magazine. the writing is so juvenile as to be practically insulting, the styling is incredibly safe, boring and middle of the road (a la in style, another of my un-favorites), and the product features honestly seem like the same thing every single month.

however.... come the end of the month, i eventually find myself pulling an issue off of the magazine stand (after having already devoured vogue, elle, glamour, nylon, vanity fair and maybe, maybe marie claire).


this time, it was easier to justify than usual, since christina hendricks is on the cover.


perhaps my undying affection for the cover lady allowed me to finally uncover the root of my attraction to this publication......


i love love love to make fun of it!


i thoroughly enjoy sitting on my couch, scoffing at the silly use of language, and imagining who on earth would ever wear the somewhat witless fashion combos that their editors put together.


sooo..... since it's more fun to make fun together.... i thought i'd start a new (potentially regular) feature for this blog.



with no further ado... join me, below:

"roundup". giddy-up cowgirls! (oh, you cowgirls just wait for brunch-time...)

also- if this is what you wear for the next four days, you are officially dead to me.

an $18 bag that always adds polish?

as my l.a, noire playing husband would say......

doubt.

i am also not a fan of that plastic-y "faux leather" bag paired with ballet-pink patent flats. but i'll let that slide..... especially once you take off the cheap polyester blazer.

omg. are you going on a date with joey buttafuoco?? in that case, i do think that a faux leather skirt will be perfect. otherwise...... wait, are you the nanny?

right..... all things from forever 21, h&m, gap, old navy, kohl's, american eagle and payless are absolutely unique.*

totally.

ok, ok. nothing too bad here. nothing too exciting, either.

i'm imagining the military jacket, romper and boots to be pretty bad on most people, but there are certainly some m.o.d.'s that could pull it off....

please! please please please send me photos of groups of girls eating sunday brunches in outfits like these!

minus the boots, i am thinking that these are more appropriate for the rodeo? 5-year-olds? prom?

*don't get me wrong- i think it's absolutely great to mix pieces from these high street/fast fashion brands in with vintage, second hand, re-worked or higher end pieces. as you know, these used to be my lifeblood!

so, friends..... am i being too harsh? is this the way that american girls dress?

or is this the way you read your lucky too? if it is, and you enjoyed the above.... let me know. i'm sorta considering fully embracing my catty-ness, getting myself a subscription, and sharing my incredulity here each month.

it's kinda of cathartic.

here we go again....

i just can't stop:

sample sale season - part 2

subtitle: the sample sale as social protest?

as you may remember, i have been mourning the loss of kari sigerson & miranda morrison as members of the very small list of american footwear designers that i truly respect and admire. they were such an inspiration to me, and (i know i'm repeating myself, here) really big reason that i decided to become a shoe designer myself.

so, when i read that kari and miranda were going to do a sale of shoes from their "laboratory boutique" without the authorization of the company that still owns their names.... i couldn't help but get excited. it seemed like a great way to collect what they did own, and do a last hurrah sale. it's a big fuck you thumb in the eye to the mark fisher company! great! i love it....

as it turned out, the mark people didn't think it was so great, and did indeed whine and cry make a stink. they put out a press release making sure that everyone knew that the product that was being sold could not be verified, and that the sale was not associated with the brand whatsoever.

babies.

unfortunately, the afternoon of the sale, it was pouring with rain in nyc, and the wait to get into the lovely space was terribly long. there were all sorts of discussion and rumors traveling up and down the line as to what had actually happened to the leadership of the brand, and what it might mean that a brand called sigerson morrison will not have designers with those actual names....

there even seemed to be a mark fisher company sympathizer, who loudly proclaimed that "these two designers were absolutely terrible to work with" and seemed to think that kari & miranda got what they deserved in the deal. i wonder why she thought that they were worth waiting in the rain for over an hour? when she finally got up to the front of the line, she proclaimed at the top of her voice that "she doesn't wait in line for over an hour for any brand". quite a funny announcement, after spending the last hour or so proving that statement not to be true.

most of the lovely ladies in line, however, seemed to be squarely in the corner of the designers, and were fairly content to wait for deals on what they thought might be some of the last shoes that could truly be called sigerson morrison.

at the end of my (admittedly long and soggy) wait, i entered the sale, and had a lovely time trying on knee-high gladiator flat sandals, gorgeous genuine snakeskin lace up high heeled booties and a lovely pair of red suede flat chelsea boots. none that fit my size, also fit my budget, unfortunately..... the snakeskin boots were a totally good deal at $299, but alas, out of my range...

the consolation prize? a short but friendly conversation with kari sigerson, who was quite positive about the split, and even more optimistic about the future of the design duo. it turns out that they will definitely be back.

watch this space for more info......

united nude does it again

it's a rainy day here, in nyc, so maybe you need an indoor activity?

united nude may have just the thing for you:

follow these steps, and get....

this:

click here to learn more about it. and if you give it a whirl, let me know... and take photos!!!

from concept to commercial

following on the heels of this.....

i'm not surprised to see this:

it's a really clever idea..... but i'm just not sure how well it executes.

first of all, if the wedge sandal fits you well with the ballet shoe, it won't fit well barefoot. second of all....  it kind of just looks ugly, when worn together, no?

i really like the idea and the innovation.... i just don't think it's really viable.

what do you think?

couldn't resist

i wasn't going to say anything about the looks at the met costume ball last night...

but i think i will.

category one-
i know it's hard to find the right shoes for a ball. but try harder:

sofia, your feet are plenty big already. why exaggerate?

ditto, above.

opposite problem. it's the shoes that are too big here.

nope!

ms meester excels at making her own legs look shorter.

this photo might be better in the second category.

ick.

same general problem as sofia & mila. but with more terrible calves.

category two-
disasters:

it was nice of the royal family to donate their curtains, 

but i liked what you did with kate's dress much more.

props on the mcqueen, but i'm not feelin it.

it's so hard to pull attention away from her amazing smile, but.... 

apparently possible.

tom! how could you let this happen!??

i think you got lost. here's your map.

this is just wrong. looks good.

totally inappropriate for the occasion.

shalom! it means "goodbye" too, right?

oh doll. i love you, but... too floaty. 

not enough wiggle.

category three-
yah! is goot:

...and elson translates to "do no wrong", right?

love the contrast between sorta sweet hair and sophisticated dress.

and the bum, obviously.

this is how to do a shoe! and a leg! and a hair!

and a lip! and a waist!

class.

oh fun!! fun! i wanna hang out. k?

and this is also how to do a shoe!

(couple of points deducted for not so flattering dress for the legs.)

category four-
bam. nailed it:

amaaaaazing. love love love the hair.

the arm. the skirt.

hands down favorite. this girl is seriously growing on me.

the necklaces totally clinches it.

glaaaama!

name of the game. right. on.

i wasn't trying to be rude in the last post.

the goal has been achieved.

other thoughts?