calling b.s.

here's a category you've seen on this blog before.

you may remember my critiques of lucky magazine, which was a regular feature here on the blog, once upon a time. i think i need to bring that back....

but the other "publication" that is getting to be a regular offender in the competition for most-ridiculous-editorial-piece is refinery 29.

one of today's features is called "the budget guide to making your apartment look expensive", and i couldn't help but share some of the products that tom dunn of overbey & dunn suggests you purchase (presumably from his store), in order to fancy-up your place.....

if my sarcastic tone hasn't already made it clear.... i think these suggestions are completely ridiculous:

really? a d.i.y. tie-die kit is going to make your house look expensive?

smell nice, maybe..... but i'm picturing a pile of laundry in the corner, with the wafting aroma of fancy candle, and i'm not getting a super luxurious vibe.

first, this is ugly. second...... ugh. i sound like a broken record. how does an APRON make your house look good!?

what artwork you put on your walls is fully a personal decision, but why would a person recommend a wall hanging that mimics a cheap child's toy? i think the image is actually very cool, but again....

how does a cardboard jigsaw puzzle make your place feel upscale?

no. animal butt magnets are NOT chic. 

not.

in defense of refinery 29's staff, i will say that delores suarez's suggestions in the second half of the piece are much more reasonable....

but i find it so annoying to be fed this kind of drivel.

girls who read fashion magazines and sites are not stupid! why do editors so often treat us like we are?

questioning lucky logic: don't wear pajamas to work, ever.

the validity of the pajamas-as-street-wear trend is highly debatable.

you can check out this, this, this, this & this out in order to form your own opinion.

even if you decide that this trend is totally right on, i just cannot imagine a scenario where you're going to want to wear a pajama suit to work.

crazy comfortable???

no. that's just crazy.

questioning lucky logic: the shoe issue

over the weekend, i posted a little snippet of my shoe collection.

so, it's officially shoe-week here on the blog. all things footwear related will now commence.

starting with the new feature..... 

questioning lucky logic:

every fall and spring, lucky does a big feature, covering all of the trends and styles of footwear that any self respecting american female must have represented in their closet. 

generally i find it to be a sad state of affairs, since one can only be told so many times that a knee high boot looks "terrif" over skinny jeans, and that "sky high" platforms are de rigueur for any date night that might lead to a relationship with legs.

this fall is nothing new. it's the same-old-same-old, with recommendations on ankle boots, and day-to-night looks. i'd have fallen asleep by now if it weren't for some of the more hilarious and questionable style choices and product descriptions, all shown below for your enjoyment.....

sporty, indeed. i'm totally picturing tim riggins in a pair.

please, dear god. someone send me a photo of these librarian-looking pumps being worn with a *neon mini skirt and a sequined shirt*. please. i can't even imagine how much "fun" that would be!

the copy here is a bit dumb, but i'm mostly offended by the horrible silhouette of these shoes. should they reside in my closet, they would acquire no patina of wear, glossy or otherwise, only that of dust.

funny, they actually look like they'd make you look somewhat tubby, what with the "wearable" heel height, and awkwardly shaped wedge.

i'm also picturing these to look kinda crazy with jeans tucked in, almost like...... moderate department store hip waiders?

no! cheap flannel wedges will not look very chic at all with light pastels. they will make you look like a middle schooler running out to walk the dog in her pajamas!

nothing too terrible here, other than the fact that these shoes look utterly cheap, and exactly like the casual boots that department stores have been showing for..... at least 5 years.

snooze.

i intentionally took out any reference to the brand of these shoes, so that you didn't get the impression that i'm against any of the brands. however, i will say that it's surprising that this little guy is a collab between a company that makes high quality shoes, and an athlete that's mostly know for being kick-ass and hot.

these are just ugly, no? such bad shapes and proportions, in my opinion.

my a.m. commute is already enough of an expedition, thank you very much. is there someone out there who wants to add more trial / potential danger to their morning?

:::eye roll:::

to beguile: transitive verb

1: to lead by deception

2: hoodwink

3: to while away especially by some agreeable occupation

4: to engage the interest of by or as if by guile

which one do you think they meant, regarding those ca-razy buckles? hmm?

it seems somewhat unfair to tease about a ridiculous use of a cliched pun, when i'm so fond of using them, myself, but.....

it's ridiculous.

so friends, there you have it. stay tuned for next month's installment.......

ok, wait! i do gotta say that these are pretty awesome. they are stunning.

no?

questioning lucky logic: the premiere

do you guys read lucky magazine?


may i ask... why? i don't mean to belittle the choice to read it. i read it myself, almost every month! but i just can't figure out why.....


with the exception of jean godfrey-june, who is my hands down favorite beauty writer, i just can't find any really redeeming features in this magazine. the writing is so juvenile as to be practically insulting, the styling is incredibly safe, boring and middle of the road (a la in style, another of my un-favorites), and the product features honestly seem like the same thing every single month.

however.... come the end of the month, i eventually find myself pulling an issue off of the magazine stand (after having already devoured vogue, elle, glamour, nylon, vanity fair and maybe, maybe marie claire).


this time, it was easier to justify than usual, since christina hendricks is on the cover.


perhaps my undying affection for the cover lady allowed me to finally uncover the root of my attraction to this publication......


i love love love to make fun of it!


i thoroughly enjoy sitting on my couch, scoffing at the silly use of language, and imagining who on earth would ever wear the somewhat witless fashion combos that their editors put together.


sooo..... since it's more fun to make fun together.... i thought i'd start a new (potentially regular) feature for this blog.



with no further ado... join me, below:

"roundup". giddy-up cowgirls! (oh, you cowgirls just wait for brunch-time...)

also- if this is what you wear for the next four days, you are officially dead to me.

an $18 bag that always adds polish?

as my l.a, noire playing husband would say......

doubt.

i am also not a fan of that plastic-y "faux leather" bag paired with ballet-pink patent flats. but i'll let that slide..... especially once you take off the cheap polyester blazer.

omg. are you going on a date with joey buttafuoco?? in that case, i do think that a faux leather skirt will be perfect. otherwise...... wait, are you the nanny?

right..... all things from forever 21, h&m, gap, old navy, kohl's, american eagle and payless are absolutely unique.*

totally.

ok, ok. nothing too bad here. nothing too exciting, either.

i'm imagining the military jacket, romper and boots to be pretty bad on most people, but there are certainly some m.o.d.'s that could pull it off....

please! please please please send me photos of groups of girls eating sunday brunches in outfits like these!

minus the boots, i am thinking that these are more appropriate for the rodeo? 5-year-olds? prom?

*don't get me wrong- i think it's absolutely great to mix pieces from these high street/fast fashion brands in with vintage, second hand, re-worked or higher end pieces. as you know, these used to be my lifeblood!

so, friends..... am i being too harsh? is this the way that american girls dress?

or is this the way you read your lucky too? if it is, and you enjoyed the above.... let me know. i'm sorta considering fully embracing my catty-ness, getting myself a subscription, and sharing my incredulity here each month.

it's kinda of cathartic.