22 August, 2011

questioning lucky logic: the shoe issue

over the weekend, i posted a little snippet of my shoe collection.

so, it's officially shoe-week here on the blog. all things footwear related will now commence.

starting with the new feature..... 

every fall and spring, lucky does a big feature, covering all of the trends and styles of footwear that any self respecting american female must have represented in their closet. 

generally i find it to be a sad state of affairs, since one can only be told so many times that a knee high boot looks "terrif" over skinny jeans, and that "sky high" platforms are de rigueur for any date night that might lead to a relationship with legs.

this fall is nothing new. it's the same-old-same-old, with recommendations on ankle boots, and day-to-night looks. i'd have fallen asleep by now if it weren't for some of the more hilarious and questionable style choices and product descriptions, all shown below for your enjoyment.....

sporty, indeed. i'm totally picturing tim riggins in a pair.

please, dear god. someone send me a photo of these librarian-looking pumps being worn with a *neon mini skirt and a sequined shirt*. please. i can't even imagine how much "fun" that would be!

the copy here is a bit dumb, but i'm mostly offended by the horrible silhouette of these shoes. should they reside in my closet, they would acquire no patina of wear, glossy or otherwise, only that of dust.

funny, they actually look like they'd make you look somewhat tubby, what with the "wearable" heel height, and awkwardly shaped wedge.

i'm also picturing these to look kinda crazy with jeans tucked in, almost like...... moderate department store hip waiders?

no! cheap flannel wedges will not look very chic at all with light pastels. they will make you look like a middle schooler running out to walk the dog in her pajamas!

nothing too terrible here, other than the fact that these shoes look utterly cheap, and exactly like the casual boots that department stores have been showing for..... at least 5 years.


i intentionally took out any reference to the brand of these shoes, so that you didn't get the impression that i'm against any of the brands. however, i will say that it's surprising that this little guy is a collab between a company that makes high quality shoes, and an athlete that's mostly know for being kick-ass and hot.

these are just ugly, no? such bad shapes and proportions, in my opinion.

my a.m. commute is already enough of an expedition, thank you very much. is there someone out there who wants to add more trial / potential danger to their morning?

:::eye roll:::

to beguile: transitive verb

1: to lead by deception
2: hoodwink
3: to while away especially by some agreeable occupation
4: to engage the interest of by or as if by guile

which one do you think they meant, regarding those ca-razy buckles? hmm?

it seems somewhat unfair to tease about a ridiculous use of a cliched pun, when i'm so fond of using them, myself, but.....

so friends, there you have it. stay tuned for next month's installment.......

ok, wait! i do gotta say that these are pretty awesome. they are stunning.


1 comment:

  1. LOLLED! Thanks, Jess. Hilarious and spot on commentary.